Virgin Island Water (Creed)

Creed Virgin Island Water seems to be a popular choice among young male fragrance fans who upload reviews to YouTube. This tribe of dough-faced lads in trucker hats and oversized hoodies spends many a midnight hour sitting in dimly-lit rooms and squinting into low-res laptop cameras as they commit their thoughts on fragrance to posterity.

I imagine them -- underconfident yet overaggressive, fearful of their own human odor and eager to blot it out with half a dozen megasprays aimed at the neck, chest, and crotch. To fit their needs, Virgin Island Water is suitably powerful, persistent-- and ugly. Does this army of nearly 1,500 amateur videographers even know how ugly? I wish I could warn them, but as seems to be typical of Creed fans, they'd probably just accuse my sample of being some kind of sketchy back-alley dupe. As if anyone would go to the trouble of bootlegging a cologne this awful! Ah, me.

Scent Elements: Copra (coconut meat), coconut palm sap, lime, bergamot, mandarin, hibiscus, ginger, ylang-ylang, jasmine, rum, musk