Why wear it? To scare the villagers into consulting the local copy of Malleus Maleficarium.
What does it do? It sets off a serious, long-burning bonfire that fills the cold air of November with a drear vetiver smoke cloud. Its mighty swell blocks out the very sun and causes ink-black rain to fall upon the land, spoiling crops and dyeing the local sheep flocks a somber grey. The umbra it casts is endless and apocalyptic, yet you walk within it as safe as a well-warded witch. Obviously you have friends in low places. VERY low places.
How do I feel? Defiant. Do you think I burn so easily? More torches and pitchforks, say I.